fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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