Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
