yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
