Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
