when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
