there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
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