Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
why does every cop we meet know your name?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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