You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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