hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize