I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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