No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
