one might say we're banned from that church
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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