All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
