i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
