I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
