So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
