WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
