wat bout pragnant strippers??
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
