If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
