I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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