That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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