Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
