i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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