If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
