just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
