he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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