he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
