I think my fart just growled at me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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