Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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