I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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