..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
