girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
