Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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