Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
