If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
