I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
