My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
