My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
