YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
