I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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