So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I cut my penus on the lid.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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