IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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