Can i not drive my cunt home
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She's the barista slut.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
