Whats the glycemic index on semen?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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