Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
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