Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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