Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
