I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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