Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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