I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
