dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize