i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
