There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
