Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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