It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
