Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
