I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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