dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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