Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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