Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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