that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
