You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The uberlube is also flammable
did you just send me my own nude
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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