It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
